I will get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, 2009, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon.  
 
Why? Because bacon is nature's finest and most nourishing food.  
 
Just to set the record straight, it's only called Canadian Bacon outside of Canada. We call Back Bacon or Peameal Bacon, and it rocks.
I just-- I just wanna say one thing.
Dyskolos:
Uh, nobody ordered Mike to go on this mission. He volunteered for certain death.  
 
That's true.  
 
That's what we award our highest medals for.  
 
That's beautiful.  
 
That's what being a bacon eater is all about.  
 
Hear, hear!  
 
You know, I got an idea that maybe it's not such a final farewell after all. I think maybe ol' Mike's going on into the unknown to do a little recon work for us all.
Uhhh
SpearmintFur: I love bacon, but I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea.  
 
Fortunately, February is a short month.
FoolProof: I do believe that that is a diet that could make you die.