Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.(short news blurb but funny)  
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MrsBot: The first thing that came to my mind was how many people vacuum up puke with car wash vacuum cleaners. and you he put it on his penis. ICK!!
rover77: Mechaphilia?
beaglebot: A paraphilla was my first thougth as well
Here's what his defense attorney should do
celicagts188: So I think his defense attorney should present the "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" defense from the OJ Simpson trial. Put the vacuum on the stand!
FoolProof: Lol. And he'd be looking at the jury like, 'Look. I don' fit!' as it drops right off. See?'  
 
And the the prosecutor will switch it on. *snick* *VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*  
 
'Oh, it fiiiiiits! It fiiiiiiiiiiitts!!'