Posted by bozino 8 years ago
Go cornpone! Good luck with the opening tonite! Wish all of LF could be there with ya!
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
Hmmm....seems familiar....
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
This is most of the cover to this month's magazine distributed by a professional organization of which I am a member. I have an official certification with this organization. I spent months studying to pass the credential to earn said certification.  
Anyone notice any resemblances? Um, HELLO! Has anyone at this place ever been on these here intartubez?  
The big "WHO'S NEXT?" is priceless, IMHO.
Good and Bad
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
If you didn't know, I was laid off last January. I wasn't bitter. Oh wait...Yes, I WAS. Because I'd worked for that company or it's predecessor, for over TWENTY FSCKING YEARS. Nearly my entire working career.  
Good news is....I started a new job last week. And am VERY happy to be there. This job will be challenging. Hopefully enjoyable. And the people are good. The pay cut....well, I'll get over it, eventually...  
So, that's the good. On the sucky side of things...my mother passed away last week. It was very sudden. She had seemed totally fine over T'giving. She was suffering health issues including lung cancer, but she had been off chemo for quite some time, and seemed to be living a "normal" life. We were making plans and looking forward to her traditional visit at Christmas.  
Fortunately, my new boss was very understanding, considering it was my first week on a new job. The wife and I went to the first memorial service last Friday for people who Mom's known for the past three years. (My parents had moved after 50+ years in or around the town I grew up in. We were all crushed when my dad passed two years ago.)  
The service last week was unbelievably hard. We'll be heading to another service this weekend with the kids. I expect this will be even harder, as it will involve relatives and friends my brothers and I have known our whole lives.  
So, some learnings:  
1) If this economy has taken it's toll, keep hope. There are opportunities  
2) Love your family. You never know when they'll be gone. I spoke to her on the weekend, and on Tuesday, she was gone.  
3) Profit?  
I'm not sure how much I'll be able to keep up with teh filter going forward as we are now a two-working parent family with 3 boys moving in different directions. I'll check in when I can, and trust y'all will keep up with the dick jokes in the chatter without my supervision.  
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
(easily offended catholics - or others not interested in slightly religious flavored rants)  
My wife is Catholic. I'm not. I accepted this at our wedding, and have accepted it since. It's complicated. I'm not a deeply religious person, but I want my kids to have some moral footing. I agree that perhaps the Catholic Church is not the best footing, but it is a structured footing, and it is one that we have contributed to over the years. The alternative is a return to my own Protestant upbringing, which is nearly identical to the Catholic church except for that guy with the funny hat.  
Anyway, some of you may have noticed this economic thing that's been going on for the past year or so. Some call it the R-word. Or, please no, the D-word. Either way, it sucks for a lot of people. My immediate family included.  
So, I went to get the mail yesterday. I see a letter addressed to me. Not paying attention to the return address, I open it. Start reading the letter. I note then that is from the wife's church. I should have stopped reading. But I didn't. Bad decision.  
The opening sentence. "I write to you regarding parish finances". From my wife's parish priest. We're being chided for not keeping up with whatever commitment was made at the beginning of the year. Which is a lifetime ago in so many ways.  
My rage was profound. Thankfully, my kids and some of their friends were in the kitchen as I read this, or I would have exploded.  
The nerve. The freaking nerve. Rather than try to understand our personal situation, we are sent what appears to be a form letter. Beseeching us to "pray and reflect on your level of commitment to the Church", specifically, "how you support her in areas of treasure (what financial commitment do you make to the parish)."  
Hello???? Treasure???? Aren't you a CHURCH? Isn't your goal something nobler than TREASURE????  
W. T. F.??????????????????one????????????????????  
I had gotten over my rage by sometime after my second cup of coffee today. And then I came upon this story about local churches and how they are reacting to the R-word. How they are confronting the issue. Exerting efforts. Trying to -- get this -- actually HELP PEOPLE --- who REALLY NEED IT.  
Isn't THAT what Christian organizations are supposed to be all about??? I'm not a big bible thumper, but I'm pretty sure the message in the The Dummies Guide to Being Holy is more about Dad, JC and the holy spook helping people than it is about gathering treasure.  
I am at loss as to how to react in a meaningful way. Don't get me wrong -- I'm totally at a gain for how to react in many non-meaningful ways - like perhaps going to church on Sunday, and sticking a copy of the letter, a copy of that article, and a COPY of a check for $20 in one of those little pre-printed customized pledge envelopes they mail us every few weeks. (Aside -- Hmmmmmm, are there any ways they might be able to cut some recurring costs over there at the church....)  
I have had my issues with religion over the years, and admittedly with this church and priest in particular, but this one has put me over the edge.  
[EDIT - anyone wanting to get a group discount on the bus trip to hell is free to email me at bozino at faithless.org]  
Swine Flu
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
At dinner a couple of nights ago, we talked to the kids about the importance of washing hands regularly at school due to the contagiousness of Swine Flu. A special notice came home about this, and we were just reinforcing it. Kids got the message.  
Last night, my 7 y.o. woke up with a fever. Came into our room absolutely bawling... "I......have......swine.....flu....."  
Kids are funny. Of course, if it turns out it really is swine flu, well, then, not so funny.
Interactive Shark Quiz
Posted by bozino 9 years ago
You're like a Hammerhead Shark.  
You may be goofy, but don’t think other sea creatures aren’t aware of you! You like to swim in large schools, and your sleek and slender figure lets you get up to speeds of 25 mph. You are normally calm unless provoked, and you usually feed around dusk. You like to live in tropical climates with warm waters, and most of your litters have up to 25 little sharks!  
From here  
Something doesn't add up here...
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
The school board here has come up with a plan to allow "teachers to meet regularly to collaborate and discuss ways to improve individual student academic performance." The plan involved moving some times around, with the net result being that students still end up with the state mandated amount of classroom time.  
The gist of the plan is that school starts 10 minutes earlier every day. Let's see, 10 minutes/day x 5 days/week = 50 additional minutes per week.  
The schools then let out one hour earlier each Wednesday so the teachers can work on improving that academic performance.  
It seems to me that the students are actually LOSING 10 minutes of class time per week.  
The issue is compounded because there will be six Wednesdays where school will let out an additional 1 1/2 hours earlier then the already shortened day.  
So, for 33 weeks, they miss 10 minutes per week, and for 6 weeks, they miss 100 minutes, for a total of 930 minutes, or 15.5 hours.  
I don't get this new math. What am I missing?
Drug Rehab
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
(last updated 5/12/09 - 18 states now represented.)  
Summarized for your perusal, here are options for Drug Treatment here at LF:  
alabama Drug, courtesy of kasabusa123  
Arizona Drug, courtesy of kings2301  
Arkansas Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of kings2301  
Arkansas Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of starzaan. Note the URL is different than the one kindly posted by kings2301.  
California Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of koyal12  
Colorado Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of kings2301  
Delaware Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of kasabusa  
Florida Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of starzaan  
Georgia Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of kasabusa  
Hawaii Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of starzaan  
Illinois Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of leoclark2626  
Maine Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of kings2301  
Massachusetts Drug Treatment Centers, courtesy of kasabusa123. Hmm. what are the odds that kasabusa123 is the same person as kasabusa or leoclark123?  
Oklahoma Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of julia  
Oregon Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of julia  
New Mexico Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of william23  
South Dakota Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of melvin1223  
Utah Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of melvin1223  
Washington Drug Rehab Centers and Programs, courtesy of angels55  
Non state specific:  
Drug Rehab Facilities, courtesy of leoclark123  
Christian Drug Rehab, courtesy of kasabusa123  
Alcohol Rehab, courtesy of kingofking  
Not Drug related, but similarly informative links that are formed similarly, all courtesy of kingofking:  
Wedding Dress Ottawa  
Used Motorcycles in Toronto  
free movie downloads  
Cheap Canadian Car Insurance  
Puma Shoes Toronto. This one courtesy of kasabusa123  
Dear Firefox
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
I don't want to be too harsh, but, I feel it is time to tell you that you are a bloated piece of crap.  
Why does a freaking browser need over 500 Megs of memory to run? You are a web browser, not a CAD program.  
Needing that amount of memory of course leads to the need for page faults. Hey, all programs do it. It's not just you. But over 300 million of them? In two days? That's just wrong.  
Honey, you need to lose some weight.
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Connecting to server...  
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!  
Stranger: I am not wearing any pants!  
You: mule?  
Stranger: sort of  
You: shig?  
Stranger: shag  
You: pants are evil  
Stranger: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Stranger: You win the PRIZE  
You: what is it?  
You: pancakes?  
Stranger: MY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
In the spirit of equal airplay....
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
I journaled last year about the journey of bozlet1 and his team as they went through the Odyssey of the Mind. They won their regional tournament, then won the state tournament, then placed very respectably in the World Finals.  
Well, it's OM time again. bozlet1 is taking a breather this year. This year, bozlet2 is at the top end of his age bracket. They competed this past weekend in the regional tournament.  
The backdrop to their "set" was a large frame constructed of PVC. Two days before the tournament, one cross piece fell and shattered. They got a new piece, no problem. However, the new piece was thicker and was much tighter in the fittings connecting to the rest of the frame.  
At the tournament, they had to bring the backdrop into the room in pieces. The clock starts, and they have to put it together, and complete their play in 8 minutes. They struggled getting it together, and finally got it up. However, one of the top corners was just resting on the fitting. The inevitable happened at a key point in their performance.  
The kids weren't phased. They worked thru the rest of their problem, and ad-libbed the part of the one kid who was now holding the backdrop together. They also went over their time limit. Things were not looking good.  
There are three things they get rated on. One is this performance. Despite their issues, they ended up with the top score in their age group. They also ended up with the top scores in the other two parts (style and the spontaneous competition).  
They ended up winning. By a lot. So, now it's on to State Finals....  
Congrats, kids!
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
I had actually forgot about levelling up. 44! yay me.
Owa Tagee Kiam
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
I watched Jeopardy last nite, and it was an interesting finish. All three players were in it, but one had no way of winning. So I'm going to focus on the other two.  
Player 1 (P1) has 16,600, P2 has 11,400.  
P1 bets 6201, which makes sense. If P2 bets it all, he ends up with 22,800. So P1 needs to have 22,801 to win, hence the 6201 bet.  
P1 bet 1000. Hmm. That seems odd. Until they both got the question wrong.  
So, P1 ends up with (16,600-6201) = 10,399.  
P2 ends up with 10,400, and the win. He bet that both players would get the answer wrong, and won. I don't recall ever seeing that before, but I don't watch all the time, so maybe it happens a lot.  
Anyway, I knew there had to some math to explain this, and I just had to figure it out. So, here's the math:  
Pn = Player n amount left before final jeopardy  
Pnb = Player n bet  
Pnf = Player n final amount  
PnG = Player n goal amount  
P1b = (2P2 - P1) + 1  
in this case: 2*11400 - 16,600 + 1 = 6201  
If P1 wins, P1f = P1 + P1b = P1 + (2P2 - P1) + 1 = 2P2 + 1  
If P1 loses, P1f = P1 - P1b = P1 - ((2P2 - P1) + 1) = 2(P1 - P2) - 1  
in this case: 2(16,600-11,400) - 1 = 10,399  
P2g = P1f + 1 (i.e. P2 needs one dollar more than what P1 ends up with)  
from above, P1f = 2(P1 - P2) - 1, so  
P2g = 2(P1-P2)  
P2b = P2 - (2(P1 - P2)) = 3P2 - 2P1  
in this case: 3(11,400) - 2(16,600) = 34,200 - 33,200 = 1000  
This only works, however, if 3P2 >= 2P1. And, of course you have to assume P1 is going to bet the minimum to win, and both answers have to be wrong.  
Now, maybe this is some well known Jeopardy thing, but I thought it took serious balls for that guy to bet they'd both get it wrong. And, he knew how to bet properly for it. And he was able to the the math - I would have forgotten to carry a 3 or something.  
This is what I was doing until 11:30 last night (DVR'd the show, watched it at 10:30).  
For the record, the "answer" was something about this country allows US hurricane hunters into it's airspace. The three answers were: North Korea, China and Iran.  
The correct questionanswer (which I got): What is Cuba.
many thanks
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Many many thanks to those who tried to help me thru the great "bozino computer crisis of January aught9". I ended up having to reinstall XP (thanks to thee who suggested it). The beast was indeed mighty. The upside is the the ghastly compy is acting MUCH better now. The downside....well, my bad. Outlook Express does NOT keep contacts in a .dbx file. They must be exported first....  
She'll get over it....one day....maybe....when she realizes what I went thru to get it to this point
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
My company announced today they're laying off 1000 people or about 14% of the workforce. It will happen the week of January 5.  
We've known this has been coming, but were waiting for the shoe to fall. It's a lot more than was generally expected. I have no idea if I'll be affected. I can see it going either way.  
My holiday is now officially ruined. Bah Humbug, and have a Happy Fscking New Year.  
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Take this test  
Post results in comments.  
I got 14. I could go to grammar school in England 30 years ago!
For AB
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Make the pie higher!
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
This following poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush.  
Make the Pie Higher  
I think we all agree, the past is over.  
This is still a dangerous world.  
It's a world of madmen  
And uncertainty  
And potential mental losses.  
Rarely is the question asked  
Is our children learning?  
Will the highways of the internet  
Become more few?  
How many hands have I shaked?  
They misunderestimate me.  
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.  
I know that the human being and the fish  
Can coexist.  
Families is where our nation finds hope  
Where our wings take dream.  
Put food on your family!  
Knock down the tollbooth!  
Vulcanize society!  
Make the pie higher!  
Make the pie higher!
hahaha you old crook
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Robot Dreams
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
My 6 y.o. woke up early this AM complaining about "bad robot dreams".  
I immediately thought of this:  
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
from email
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight.....  
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.'  
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American Story?  
If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.  
Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.  
Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.  
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded.  
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.  
If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.  
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.  
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.  
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.  
If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.  
If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.  
If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.  
OK, much clearer now.  
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
everyone else is updating their journals, and I hate being left out.
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
This weekend, in a moment of absurd clarity, I realized that the world we are living in is BizarroWorld. There is no other explanation other than we are pawns in some high (or perhaps low) stake game controlled by aliens or something.  
The election is upon us. We are stuck with a 72 year-old curmudgeonly clone of the current Monkey-in-Chief as the red state favorite. Who has a chance to win, because this country is riddled with idiots who vote the party line. With Sarah Palin as his running mate? Seriously? This is the best they can do? An inexperienced governor who can't put together a cogent statement on her (complete lack of) foreign policy experience.  
The alternative is an inexperienced Senator who promises change. With a running mate with tons of foreign policy experience. Hey, that's good, right? But wait, what's that nagging feeling? Oh right, when I lived in his fair state back in the 80's, he ran for President, but dropped out of the race due to plagiarism accusations.  
No matter who wins the election, we'll still be stuck in a war with no way out.  
Meanwhile, the economy is crashing around us. My company's stock is trading at a fifth off it's high, and will probably continue to go down. There was a mini-run at my bank (Wachovia) on Saturday as the newspaper reported they were not FDIC insured. People, are you really that stupid? What's that? Oh, never mind, my bank is now Wells Fargo Citibank.  
The gubmint has put forth a 700 Billion Dollar bailout plan. That's Billion, with a damn B. 700 of them. Meanwhile, kids in this country can't get healthcare. People who put their lives on the line for this country are homeless.  
And to top it all off, Kansas City beat Denver yesterday?  
I for one welcome our BizarroWorld overlords. There is no other explanation.  
Internet Safety Guidelines
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Let's Play "Spot the Irony"
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
Andrea Pininfarina, chief executive officer of Pininfarina SpA, a designer of sports cars including Ferrari Testarossas and Fiat SpA's Alfa Spider, died in an accident today. He was 51.  
Pininfarina died instantly after his Vespa scooter collided with a Ford Fiesta about 8:15 a.m. in Trofarello near the northern city of Turin, Italy, said police official Luigi Semenzato. A company spokeswoman declined to give more details.  
Full Article
Posted by bozino 10 years ago
A new mythical creature: The cthulhunicorn.  
AB> You're at work; the air should be dense with miasma from reluctant employees. Your job is to harvest that miasma, and use it as the fuel for your evil eye.  
MrsBot> interesting occult-like perspective you have AB.  
AB> thank you.  
MrsBot> i don't object to it by any means but most people don't tend to think that way.  
AB> well, they can have their rainbows and unicorns and other fluffy, imagination-born whims. I'll take Lovecraft any day.  
AB> but I suppose a lovecraftian unicorn isn't out of the question  
bozino> wait - are you proposing a cthulunicorn, AB?  
AB> I may be on the verge of insanity, boz, but... yes, I am.  
bozino> that's....brilliant  
AB> Science is wonderful, isn't it?  
bozino> shockingly: "Your search - cthulhunicorn - did not match any documents"  
AB> It will in 10 minutes, I guarantee you that.  
AB> Proof that just uttering its name is sufficient to summon the cthulhunicorn