I don't want to dredge up old drama or anything like that, but I just kinda wanna share how I am. Believe it or not, my life is pretty decent right now. Not amazing, not exactly where I imagined myself, but I'm getting by.
I have a girlfriend who's really awesome and really hot, plus we actually have common interests and it's not a purely physical relationship. Work is decent, I'm now paid enough such that I can at least support myself. This past year I got my own apartment and this past month, I finally got my driver's license. I actually have friends off the Internet who I do stuff like play board games and roleplaying games with. I current DM a game of D&D on a weekly basis and I find that fulfilling. I'm kinda in the process of figuring out the optimal thing for me, I'd like to start my own business as I do have some ideas and I'm figuring out other things I can do with my degree aside from academia or public policy work.
I sometimes find pleasure in small things in life. It used to be that something small would happen to me and it would ruin my entire day. Sometimes that still happens but more often, usually someone will do something like give me a good laugh and it makes my day. I also find pleasures in small things in life like sitting on the couch and reading a book in peace or watching Netflix in bed.
It's weird but a lot of it is just luck on my part. It's not quite I had a moment of clarity or something but it's that I was able to be in the right place at the right time.
I realize that when I was active here, I wasn't a pleasant person to be around. I'm not really apologizing for how I felt but I can now understand why it turned a lot of people off and how it killed the vibe around here. Some of you might think I'm still the same person as I was 4 years ago but I'm afraid that's not quite the case.
Again, I'm not trying to revive any old drama or conflicts I might have had here, I just want to share how it can get better and trust me, I never really thought it could get better.