PAgent> If I opened a roadside fruit market in Kabul, I would call it "The Afghanistan Banana Stand"
shigpit> If you opened a restaurant in South Korea, I guess you'd call it "Seoul Food."
FuzzyDave> the afghan granny bananny prammy
shigpit> I want to open a furniture store named "Sofa King"
FuzzyDave> Our Prices are Sofa King Craaaaazy!
shigpit> Sofa King ... awesome!â„¢
shigpit> Or, Dave, how about "The Ottoman Empire"
Schauspieler> I still want a resturant locally called Pho King
shigpit> Knock off suits: Faux King?
FuzzyDave> The Ottoman Empire. You won't find a more solid stool
Schauspieler> Come on down to The Ottoman Empire for our Overstocked Sale! We got stools coming out of our.....oh, wait....ummmm
FuzzyDave> you beat me to it. i was gonna say, Our prices are so low, you'd think we pulled em out of ...
LinusMines> "Our stools are so soft, you'll take two!"
FuzzyDave> free peanuts with every purchase
Schauspieler> be sure to check out our Corny Stools!
Schauspieler> "We flush the competion!"
Schauspieler> "All stools must go!"
Schauspieler> Need your stool shipped, ask about our free packing service
FuzzyDave> why are our stools so solid? One word. Fiber. we use the finest fibers in the world
FuzzyDave> Plus, all our ottomans have a non-stick surface. you'll never have to worry about an impacted stool whenever moving your furniture around
Schauspieler> Try our suede line, you'll never feel a smoother stool
FuzzyDave> we'd also like to take a moment to remember our founder: Scatman Cruthers. If it weren't for Scat, we'd have no stools.
Schauspieler> Stinky stools? ask about our "like roses" stool freshener
FuzzyDave> We have ottomans in every color. Except brown.
FuzzyDave> someone better journal this
FuzzyDave> whre the hell is champthom when we need him?
Schauspieler> Why he's down at his local Ottoman Empire, examing our stools!
LinusMines> Take our stools along on your next vacation...they float!
LinusMines> Drop one off at the pool today!
FuzzyDave> damn! beat me to it
FuzzyDave> and bakers...next time you pinch a loaf, do it from the comfort of an Ottoman Empire stool.
Schauspieler> Now avalible, NFL stools! Take em to the super bowl!
LinusMines> For you cowboys, our stools are also available with a handy lasoo attachment...hang a rope on it!
Schauspieler> Cooks who brew stews love our stools
FuzzyDave> come down and check out our lastest model, The Euphemism! It's shaped like a Baby Ruth bar. I don't know what that means, but our marketing guy Lovvvvvves it
LinusMines> heh...make gravy with our stools!
Schauspieler> Moving? Our stools come out easy!
FuzzyDave> Made a mess? Clean your ottoman with one of our Cleveland Steamers
beaglebot> I don't even want to know what you people are talki9ng about
LinusMines> No heavy lifting required! Just grip and pull!
FuzzyDave> this is probably one of the longest running gag threads we've had in chat for about a yaer
Schauspieler> We use only the softest stuffing, so our stools are never lumpy
FuzzyDave> Free chili dogs for the kids. Just ask Gus for one of his Famous Rusty Trombones!
LinusMines> Free cheese log with every purchase!
Schauspieler> Our stools are sturdy! Go on! Step on em!
Schauspieler> Pooped? have a seat on one of our stools
Schauspieler> and take a load off
LinusMines> We guarantee to make our stools in less than five minutes!
LinusMines> Or it's on us!
FuzzyDave> my bladder can't take much more of this
FuzzyDave> we've had to soundproof the workshop because of the loud grunting
LinusMines> "Making stools is hard work", sez chief builder Ben Dover.
Schauspieler> Just plop down one of our stools anywhere to brighten up a room
FuzzyDave> the toughest part of the job is getting em through the door. sometimes it's a pretty tight squeeze. sometimes, one'll wedge itself so tight, we gotta dig it out.
FuzzyDave> when that happens, you wouldn't believe the amount paperwork required
LinusMines> This weekend only...free cigars!
Schauspieler> Buy our stools by the pile!!!
shigpit> Don't be a stool pigeon, visit the Ottoman Empire.
Schauspieler> We've renovated to clean up this dump!
LinusMines> Pooped? You've come to the right place!
FuzzyDave> this mini ottoman is perfectly sized for a shitzhu
shigpit> Our Porcelain Thrones are our best sellers.
FuzzyDave> this one's shaped like a shitakke mushroom!
Schauspieler> Our Assortment is Astronomical
LinusMines> Try our NRA model...perfect for squeezing off rounds!
shigpit> Get our Ottomans with power wheels and show 'em your skid marks!
LinusMines> Need help with delivery? Our Fleet is available!
shigpit> haha Linus ... delivery by White Cloud service or Dump Truck on your sidewalk.
LinusMines> What can Brown do for you?â„¢
FuzzyDave> i just snarfl'd my tea
pdxpogo> Scatagoricaly delicious
* * * LinusMines can't scatagorically deny involvement
Schauspieler> Our E-Z Glide coasters make your stool movements smoother
FuzzyDave> Our prices are so low, our inventory is flying out the door. We're spraying stools all over the tri-county area, thanks to you!
shigpit> We think you'll just LOVE what's behind door Number 2!
LinusMines> Thanks, Schazzy...many pants were nearly soiled in the making on that journal entry.
Schauspieler> Well, our stools are comfortable enuff to keep in your pants